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- April 3, 2024
6 Step Guide -Introducing Sex Toys Into Your Partnered Relationship
If you want to spice up your sex life, then introducing sex toys into your partnered relationship might be something to consider. However, bringing up your desire to your partner can be a little, well, awkward. You might be scared about bruising your partner’s ego—after all, no one wants to give the impression that they’re not satisfied in the sack. You might also be nervous about expressing your sexual needs or generally embarrassed about having a curiosity that’s a bit outside your usual bedroom repertoire.
Introducing Sex Toys Into Your Partnered Relationship:
Wanting to try something new in bed, including introducing pleasure toys, doesn’t mean your sex life is boring. It just means you’re willing to be adventurous when it comes to pleasure yourself and your partner, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And sex toys are an excellent place to start when you’re looking to experiment.
Step One: Break The Ice If You Want To Break Free
The best way to talk about sex is to ensure that the conversation is ongoing. Don’t just talk when you have a problem, but talk about sex more generally—what you love, why you love it, and how you feel. Personal integrity and candor are any relationship’s best policies. Sitting your partner down and explaining why you want to introduce sex toys into the bedroom is important. Share with them how hard you cum when using your vibrator, or how you want to explore double penetration or engage in roleplay intimate fun.
When introducing something new, we suggest that you begin with the positive, make an offer or ask a question, and then make your request. For example:
1. I loved how it felt last night…
2. Have you ever thought about trying a toy…?
3. I’d love to try … with you.
Try framing your desires as requests as opposed to complaints or criticisms, and your partner will be more receptive. And if you’re super nervous talking to your partner about your desire for a sex toy, we absolutely recommend being honest and taking it slow. If you want to use sex toys with your partner, let them know you are curious about vibrators, that you might want to use one, but that you feel awkward introducing your fantasies. Let your partner know that you feel shy talking about this new interest. Ask them to come to the sex toy store or go online to a sex toy store website so that you can pick something out together.
Step Two: Be Specific About The Toy You Wish To Try
Did you know that relationships with an open line of communication are more likely to have twice the satisfying sex? We’re confident the sudden change in communication may reveal your partner’s secret curiosity, and this will help both of you with the introduction of sex toys in your intimate lives even more.
Not sure what to say? Avoid language that is focused on dissatisfaction and may put your school sweetheart to shame (i.e. “I’m sick and tired of not cumming so…”). Instead, take the reins of assertion and center the conversation about the potential excitement and fun the use of a specific toy could bring both of you. For example: “I think it’ll be really hot for you to caress my nipples with a vibrator while eating me out” or “I think it’ll be really hot to watch you use a stroker while I use a toy on myself.”
Step Three: Be Really Specific About The Toy You Wish To Try
At The Dildo Hub, we’ve got more than 18 types of vibrators—and dildos, fantasy dildos, strokers, nipple clamps, and vibrating panties among others, also all qualify as sex toys. So it’s very possible that if you’re not specific in your discussion when you agree to use a sex toy, you may be envisioning a horse cock-shaped dildo while your partner is thinking about a vibrating cock ring. Because of this, it’s paramount to ensure that you’re on the same page about what type of toy you want to try together. Remember to always be true to yourself and listen to your gut to learn what turns you on and watch your partner’s body language to gauge what excites them.
Step Four: Get To Know Your New Pleasure Toy
Now that you have your toy, it’s time to get to know it before introducing it to your bedroom. If it’s a vibrator, find out how to turn it on and off, or how to increase or decrease the vibration pattern intensity. Moreover, how many vibration patterns are there and which ones do I want to try out first? These are all legit questions you need to have an answer for before you get down and dirty.
Step Five: Contemplate of the Experience After It’s Done and Dusted
Keep exercising those talking-about-sex skills after you’ve used the toy. It’s key for you and your partner to continue the kinky talk after sex and chat about the toy, reflect on what went well and what didn’t, and what may need some extra work or support.
Step Six: Keep At It Because You Didn’t Come This Far to Come This Far (No Pun Intended)
Introducing sex toys can be fun, but it doesn’t necessarily work for every couple. While sex toys can offer a range of benefits, like broadening both horizons and verticals when it comes to sexual positions, techniques, approaches, activities, and interactions, as well as opening up new pathways to pleasure and generating conversation, we must constantly remind ourselves that if we don’t feel like that’s our thing, that’s totally fine.
Fingers crossed, using your sex toy with your loved one brought both unparalleled levels of pleasure and titillating fun.
