As cliché it might sound, Women love bad boys and yes they do fall for them. Even in movies like nine and half weeks, Fall(1997) by Eric Schaffer, Wild Orchid, Unfaithful depict how women fall for these quote-unquote “Not so nice guys”.
But are bad boys are really bad human beings? or it is just because they break some moral rules or cross some social boundaries, that they get a category of’ bad boys’. Well, there are men who not only break moral rules and cross social boundaries but they also break humanity rules, which includes respect, honesty, love, compassion, etc. These men are mistakenly put into the bracket of bad boys, but in actuality they are Jerks.
Unfortunately, women can’t identify one from another and this leads to disaster from women in general.
Are you dating a jerk?
Bad boys and Jerks are similar only in one aspect, and that is, they have transcended the need for social approval from other people and at the same time they are comfortable with disapproval from people they don’t admire.
In the first meeting, it is usually difficult to do that, but with few meetings, a woman can look for following signs.
1. A jerk will have a kind of hatred for women gender, he will talk badly about women he had in life. A Jerk will have assumptions about the role of women in society which are non-progressive for women. Bad boys won’t have hatred for women in general; he might speak badly about a particular woman but not women in general.
2. A jerk will be disrespectful to a woman for things that are non-trivial, he will shout down you in front of other people. For example, if a woman disagrees with him on opinions in a discussion in a group setting, he will bring up something else from the past to put you down in front of everyone. A bad boy generally will tell you privately if you have crossed his boundaries in a strict tone may be but he will kiss you also later.
3. Jerks are physically abusive people. They have potential to raise hands on women on a continuous level. Bad boys in worst case might raise a hand once, but he won’t.
4. Freedom is what men and women alike have fought for centuries. Jerks don’t allow women freedom partly out of fear and how he perceives women should be. They believe that women need to have limitations which they can never violate. Jerks manipulate women in the form of security that women are forced to stay with him. Bad boys don’t have any fear of woman going away because he knows that women are not like properties. Yes, a bad boy will be very sad if his woman goes away.
5. Jerks will wear masks at times to get what he wants from you. For example, to keep his girl hooked to him for marriage because she happens to be a good wife material, he will stop contact with his other girlfriend for few days, until the time he is convinced that she is hooked. After that, he will go back to non-mask behavior. Believe or not bad boys are generally honest! In the sense, they don’t promise exclusivity if they want to see other women. They don’t hide their intentions behind their mask.
Look out for these signs to detect a bad boy from a jerk. Being a Jerk is a downward spiral. Some examples of really bad boys are Jean Paul Sartre, Casanova, Ashton Kutcher. They loved women and women loved them back.
Author Bio: Pratik Jain is a dating coach and a blog writer for Wayofwomen. The blog which captures philosophy of women based on his own experiences with women.